I still love him… And I feel so stupid for still caring. I mean, I don’t know what he wants. Honestly, I’d be happy as just friends or just being able to talk again. I don’t know.
My friend, Ashley, spoke to him. His immediate response was how he already had a girlfriend. Like wtf? No one even asked or cared about that! So we see what’s on his mind.
I just wanted to talk since he seemed like he wanted to reconnect. Whatever.
The more I think about all this and the more I deal with him… The less I want to deal with it. Like… I love him, but I almost don’t even wanna see him ever again.
I mean, he’d rather be with this bimbo over me? She doesn’t care about him. She uses him and talks shit about him behind his back. She’s even cheated on him with his best friend! Like what kind of fucking bullshit is that?!
I get that I wasn’t perfect but come on. At least I didn’t do shit like that. He deserves better but hey, if he wants her, fine. It’s not that I’m jealous. I used to be, yeah. Now I’m just pissed and annoyed though.
He really missed out…
So I don’t know what the hell he wants or wanted. I don’t know what the fuck his whole point was in this but whatever. I’ve just had enough.
I love him too much to deal with this. I don’t deserve it. I don’t want any of this anymore. I’m just done.
I know I’ve said that before…
It’s funny though, for the few days we were friends on Facebook whenever I saw his posts or something… It made me sad and angry. Our first it made me feel close to him but that didn’t last. It quickly made me feel frustrated and irritated. Just seeing him did.
How things change so much… Before, seeing his face even in a photo would make me so happy or so sad and miserable. Because I loved and missed him so much. Now it’s just… Like go away. I don’t want to see you anymore. I don’t want you in my timeline, notifications, chat, text, nothing.
It’s strange… How someone can mean so much and then while they still do, you can also want to be far away from them.
You can love someone so much and still not stand them. How ironic.