Anorexia is something I’ve dealt with my entire life and for a long, long time, I didn’t even know. I had always lived under the idea that anorexia was people who did anything to get thin and always thought they were fat no matter how much they lost.
But when I was 22, I learned that it’s much more then that. I learned that I am anorexic. I don’t do all the unhealthy habits to lose weight. But no matter how thin I am, I always think I’m fat. The number on the scale is never low enough. And for me, weight gain is the cause of severe depression. No matter how little weight I gain. And weight loss, if it’s “not enough”, then I’m still depressed or even more depressed.
For me, it’s like no matter how much weight I lose, it’s never enough. I’m not doing good enough at losing weight. I’m not taking care of myself. That’s how I see it.
Logically, I know it’s not true. Logically, I know a lot of things. But logic doesn’t help the way I see myself or the way I feel…